Introduction to Clara
Hi everyone, my name is Clara Pianalto. I'm a junior and a Biochemistry Pre-med major here at OU. My favorite thing about my major is working in labs, which is funny because this was my least favorite thing about my major for awhile, but over the years I've grown to love the experiments. My friends and I began having so much fun during lab that we would constantly take pictures of our experiments and reactions. A picture of one the reactions from lab. I originally only chose this major because someone said it will benefit me when taking the MCAT for medical school. Luckily, I realized I genuinely enjoy chemistry and science classes through my major. My long term goal is to get accepted into a medical school and become a doctor. Outside of school, I'm involved in a couple of organizations on campus. I'm a member of Greek life and also involved in Relay for Life, an organization on campus that raises money and awareness for the American Cancer Society. I joined Re
Clara,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your storybook project so far! I love the idea of hearing Sita's story from her perspective. She is a very interesting character in the Ramayana and I feel like hearing her personal thoughts and reasonings throughout your project will do her justice. I like the idea of journal entries as it shows a very personable side to Sita that was not always received in the Ramayana writings. I like the picture you chose to use as the banner. It gives the project a mystic and deeper feeling which resonates well with Sita's characteristics so far. The overview of the types of entries Sita will be writing is smart as it shows readers what is to come and keeps them intrigued to return to the website to find out what happens to her. Your project is definitely one that I will be returning to as I am interested to see how you write Sita's life through personal encounters and through her words.
Hi Clara! I think Sita is a fascinating character to choose and do your storybook over. In the Ramayana, she is a supporting character and she really isn't characterized properly since the story focuses on Rama being the ideal hero. She's just painted as the faithful wife to Rama, but unfortunately, we don't get insight into her thoughts. However, she undergoes countless trials throughout the story and I think a diary is a great outlet for Sita to explore her complex feelings. I'm excited to see how you tell her story, especially through her captivity and when Rama chooses to banish her. There is a lot of tragedy in her story, but I hope you can show her strength and purity too. I also like that your introduction doesn't give too much away about Sita's story and character. It makes her more mysterious to the reader and will encourage them to keep reading. Good luck with your storybook and can't wait to see what you come up with!
ReplyDeleteYour website is very easy to navigate. It also looks clean. I like your photo choice in your intro. I also like you added a photo along with the banner. I love that you are choosing to tell the story through Sita’s eyes. I think that she is a bit of a flat character in the stories so it is awesome you are giving her some dimension. As a girl reading the story it definitely sounded like a man wrote the original story. I am excited how you interpret her thoughts to a more realistic way a woman thinks. You also did a great job with breaking up the paragraphs. The paragraph lengths are good. Some people make them to be giant chunks and it is just too dense to read. I do think that you could add a few more photos to your blog. I don’t think that there is such thing as too many photos. I think that they really can help engage people.
ReplyDeleteHey Clara,
ReplyDeleteI like the design of your website, as it is very straightforward. I personally had some problems coming up with a design and means of navigation for my site, and I like the simplicity to yours, and it has given me some inspiration. I really like your way of telling your story! The way of telling your story by means of journaling is really interesting to me, and I have not yet seen something like it yet! The way you went about it was really well done as well, as you managed to list all the details of your plot and setting very well. The images you provided throughout the story was helpful to have as well, as it set up a good means of imagery. I look forward to seeing how this introduction develops into a site filled with great stories! Well done.
Hey Clara! I love the idea of writing from a personal journal as the reader is able to see exactly what Sita is thinking from her point of view. You did a great job with the structure so far as I really feel like these short paragraphs would be the style of a journal entry. You did a great job making it appear that way. It is a unique way of story telling and I am excited to read more! I have not been able to read the original story so I will have to do that to get an idea of where this story is going and maybe some background on Sita. Keep up the good work and I look forward to returning to this story throughout the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Clara! Your storybook looks so fun already. Your writing style is really easy to read and leaves me really curious about what will happen next. The introduction entry is so good, too! It is so realistic for a first entry in a diary. It helps the reader to understand who Sita is while also making sure to leave the reader with questions. It does not focus on any one topic for too long, which is obviously really important for keeping the reader's attention (and also my attention...I have such a short attention span). I am really interested to see what you will write next, and how you will show Sita's intense and raw emotions through journal entries. It can be difficult to write from a completely different perspective, especially one that is facing so much turmoil. But you seem to be a great job already! As for the presentation of the site, I really like how you kept it simple. It's easy to find everything and looks great!
ReplyDeleteHi Clara,
ReplyDeleteI love your idea of journals for SIta because in the original story in the Ramayana, we only got the perspective of Rama. I was wondering how SIta was feeling throughout all of this. Also, I didn't know that Sita was adopted, so thank you for including this information in the introduction. I think one thing that I really enjoy about you story book is the simple language. You truly made it seem like a journal and how normal people talk! I love how you illustrated the fears that Sita had so well in her journal entries and dragged it a long in each journal entry. The journal entries are like very continuous and I love that! For the last journal entry, I want to read about how Sita felt about it. It seemed like she was just describing what happened.
Can't wait to hear more about Sita on her journey!
Hi Clara!
ReplyDeleteI truly enjoyed your whole basis of the journal entries for your storybook. I love seeing these stories from the Ramayana being retold through different characters perspectives. The introduction you wrote really helped me better understand the first story and why Sita was writing these journal entries. I also enjoy how the story is broken down into individual stories and separate journal entries. The emotional turmoil Sita is experiencing and how that is portrayed in these journal entries is completely unique in that we don't see these personal conflicts she is experiencing in the original stories. They focus a lot on Rama in these stories and it brings a new voice to these characters that are often overlooked. Sita seems to worry more about opinions of others than Rama does in general. I am really excited to read the rest of these journal entries and seeing how Sita deals with other conflicts that she will soon be "living" through.
Hey Clara,
ReplyDeleteI like the concept of your storybook. I am kind of doing a similar topic in mine. I am giving a deeper account of what the Apsaras go through in their lives besides their beauty and artistic abilities.
I liked your introduction. I think it gave a concise and clear message. Just reading over it and seeing that Sita was “born from the earth” made me remember that she also “died” by reuniting with mother earth at the end. How interesting. I think it’s great you gave this background of her family because though they weren’t mentioned much in our versions of the Ramayana, they serve an important purpose in her personal life, which should be reflected in her personal diary.
In your second story when you first mention Ayodhya you should also note that this is where Rama is from so that the readers know why they are going there. I’m loving the foreshadowing in these journal entries. Keep up the good work. I can’t wait to read more!
Hey Clara,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your premise! It is super creative and having essentially different journal passages makes the story super easy to read. Usually the advice I would give would be about grammar or formatting but everything you had looked good! There is nothing that I would change! If I had to give a suggestion, I think in your introduction, it would look better to have the picture of Sita on the side rather than at the very bottom. This would lessen the amount of white-space and make it look cleaner. This is just a small gripe and is my own personal opinion so whatever you think looks best! Great job with the storybook, I'm excited to read more!
Hello Clara!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your idea of giving us Sita’s thoughts and emotions through her diary. For someone who’s written several diaries, it offers a deep level of intimacy and freedom. When I write, I get super deep so I can only imagine how deep Sita is going to get! So with your intro, I enjoyed that you gave background about Sita. However, the intro doesn’t seem like a its written as a diary. The intro is written more like an autobiography of Sita. We already know who Sita is so your intro could’ve gone on without all the background. Although, that doesn’t mean to completely cut out everything. I think the story could feel more like a diary by writing it directly from her emotions and by not explicitly explaining everything and everyone. Like write the story so that the reader can imply who this person is.
For Love at First Sight, I really liked how you wrote the journal entry’s. In this section, the journals really sounded like a diary. The entry’s give the reader an inside look about Sita’s emotions and thoughts which I think is wonderful. We never read about her thoughts in the Ramayana, so its great reading about them. Keep up the great work and I can’t wait to read more!
Hey Clara!
ReplyDeleteI first like to start by taking a look at some of the website designs as I like to take in some good ideas. I like your picture choice as it sets kind of a mystical tone about it. First impression, I was intrigued to read about your story. You have a nice straightforward approach on your introduction, and I think it provided some good insight without going too much into detail. The story itself is broken down into nice layers. The idea of a journal is a very cool choice and I love how if offers insight into a character’s thoughts and feelings as we move along the story. I really enjoy everybody’s perspective, but the assignment asks me to interject a bit here so take this as you wish. What if you could somehow interject a bit of the turmoil that happened in the middle of the story. Maybe you could use crazy writing techniques to add some level of suspense while telling the tale? Regardless, phenomenal writing and style choice!
Hi Clara! I think you chose a really neat approach to your storybook! It's wild that Sita is only 14 when all of this began. I can't imagine doing it even at 21! Your introduction doesn't really give any background on the specific stories, but I honestly don't think you need it. Your story concept pretty much tells the story, just from a different point of view. This makes it accessible by people from both classes! For your first "story" I like that you split these up into separate entries. I think it makes it more realistic. I know when I had a diary the entries were never super long (and I too would just casually forget to write for years at a time). The missing background on the jewelry was a good catch and I love that you tied it back to her homeland to make it sweet and sentimental. Overall, great job! I can't wait to see your next two stories!
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